My nipple is on Facebook.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
