I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
