He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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