Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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