My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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