I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
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He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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