Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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