Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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