i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
