I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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