Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
you never un-have a 4some
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
