i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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