Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
