My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
