The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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