There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
