We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
