I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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