He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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