Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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