Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(636): View more from Missouri

Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.

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(614): View more from Ohio

I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups

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(229): View more from Georgia

No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry

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(808): View more from Hawaii

Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.

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(917): View more from New York City

And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body

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(530): View more from California

Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me

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(856): View more from New Jersey

there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature

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