went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
