dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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