i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
