Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
