My brain says no but my pants say off.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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