Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
