i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
