I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
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