fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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