to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
