i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
