Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Randomize
