I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
