He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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