Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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