Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
