Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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