i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
