i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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