Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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