I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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