i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
