no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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