so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
