I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Randomize
