Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
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I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
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For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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