he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
PANTIES FOUND
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