It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
