Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
