ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
50% drunk capacity currently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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