Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize
