Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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