She said her name was "party"
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
And then he peed in my hair
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
