??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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