just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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