she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
