at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
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Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
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