Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
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His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
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alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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