and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Is it penis luge time yet?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
