we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
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I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
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She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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