i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
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