elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
